Sunday 27 September 2009

Time to re-align my Karmic



A wise man once said to me "if you write a shit Blog then put some tits on it or no one will ever visit your web site."

With that in mind I thought it best to start with something positive then quickly work my way downwards.

So with about a month to go until official release I've installed Ubuntu 9.10 Karmic Koala.
1st Impressions are pretty shit hot to be fair, small things such as a drive manager, in there you can rename or organise any volumes as you see fit, mark volumes bootable etc but more importantly it links into the drive SMART reporting so you can see any and all predicted drive errors or failures. You can take a drive from another machine, plug it in and see how healthy it is or what it's history is like due to SMART drives logging the errors on board.

You can also set up software RAID easily in here so this is something I'll be looking at further once it's fully sorted.
If you install Ubuntu on traditional Intel systems then it normally goes in without a hitch, Dell machines tend to use Broadcom network cards such as BCM4318 (Airforce one 54g). If your not familar with the recent Ubuntu versions then the old way to get such cards working was using the Ndiswrapper but recently there is a utility "FWCUTTER" which makes installing and using these cards a 30 second breeze.

With Karmic the fwcutter is installed on recognition of the BCM card, you just need to go into SYSTEM, ADMINISTRATION then HARDWARE DRIVERS and confirm it's activation.
Reboot and it's all sorted.

Testing it on a Dell machine the "WiFi" light didn't work or respond before, click the fwcutter option in the hardware drivers and it works perfectly.

Add to this Ubuntu ONE which is a free 2gb shared storage area where you can store and share your own files with yourself or others I expect this release to go from strength to strength.

Behind the scenes the Grub loader is new, the default file system is ext4 instead of ext 3 or 2, this adds new file system features such as support for file systems of 1 exabyte and individual files up to 16 terrabytes. Other features include file pre-allocation without needing to qualify the file by filling it with null values (as most operating systems do), on the fly defrag and other bits and bobs.

So far Karmic installed perfectly in a Virtual machine (Vbox running on Ubuntu 9.04) and installed perfectly on a donor Dell system with the system being "up" and running wireless plus all the OS updates in about 30 mins.

Although from the Windows side Windows 7 will be a hit many people are now fed up to the back teeth with persistent viruses and resource hungry programs, why should you need a dual or quad core notebook to surf the web and pick up emails etc ?

Using Ubuntu allows a wealth of royalty free programs, almost no risk of virus attack and immense security and features.
At the moment the only program I have not got running with any success is Itunes but the Linux community is working on this so it's only a matter of time and that should be sorted as well.

In the mean time Karmic looks a suitable update - don't worry if you apply it, the updater apparently won't change existing Grub loaders to the new version, nor will it change the file system to ext4 (ext 4 is backwards compatible anyway with ext3 and 2).

Sunday 13 September 2009

The Park


(Click the picture to view my Picasa album with more pics of Burgh Island and Challaborough)

It may be of use to anyone stumbling randomly on this blog to get a review of the holiday park itself.
We went to Parkdean holidays and were a little nervous as the few reviews you can read are either glowing praise or stories of doom and gloom.

It appears the site has two operators, one is Parkdean and the other is perhaps left for people to form their own opinions and believe me I heard people openly discussing the 2nd operator and almost offered them shelter and comfort in our caravan.

We rented a "Heron" caravan which is normally a few years of age, it was a "Super Comfort 35" van and was superb, the van had plenty of space (we had a 2 bedroom van), the living area (pictured) had plenty of deep seating, a freeview TFT TV with built in DVD player, a very well equipped kitchen and a bathroom better than ours at home !

The bathroom had a walk in power shower, big enough for two people, a large built in sink with mixer tap and was en-suite to the main bedroom, a door on the main passageway gave a 2nd entrance.

complete with central heating and double glazing it was 10/10 for this, parking was fine, right beside the van and the owners had put a picnic bench outside and rotary clothes drier so top marks for them as well.

Parkdean themselves went above and beyond in looking after you, the staff (even the chaps mowing the lawns etc) were friendly and made you feel looked after - the entertainment was fine with no complaints, a good size bar and again the staff did all they could to make you feel welcome.

We tried the take away service but perhaps it was the late time we went that made it less than we expected. The chicken burger was fine but the 12 inch "Rollover" hot dog was luke warm and in a dry bun. They do pizza and other stuff there, they looked OK.

The site has a 2nd bar and restaraunt "Regatta" and we went there for a meal, they were very busy as England were playing so we waited about 45 mins for the food to come, to be 100% honest it was perfectly edible and actually far better than many places I've eaten at in the past, in fact the portions were so good none of us could finish their meals despite the fact we were starving.
Although one or two pounds dearer perhaps than a pub meal if you went out locally and added petrol on etc I doubt you would eat much cheaper.
The roast chicken (I think it was £6.95) was 1/2 a chicken with veg and potatoes which looked really nice, I had Rump steak, nipper had chicken and bacon melt with Jacket spud and missus had ribs with fries, corn on the cob, fresh coleslaw and other bits and bobs - add to that some home made onion rings and we were more than happy.

I did notice one or two people getting agitated with the wait but the bar was very busy and one or two got slightly wrong orders (chips instead of boiled potatoes) but I would definately eat in there again, we planned to but when we went into Tesco got a snack for the last night instead (which probably cost as much as eating in there).

All in all the park was very good, we didn't go into the indoor pool (as we spent all the time in the sea at Burgh Island), didn't go into the amusements so can't comment on any of them and the site has a small Costcutter shop for essentials.

Perhaps the one and only thing I noticed was the small stream that goes through the park (and behind our caravan), people seemed to use it as a dumping ground for a few bits of rubbish and even emptying soapy water from buckets they used to wash their vans. As this stream emerges on the beach it was a shame to see the cups, bags and rubbish in there as it has signs for children to look out for frogs etc - It's not encouraging to get your children to play in a soapy rubbish strewn stream.
It didn't ruin the holiday but when every thing else is so good you notice these things, much like Challaborough beach, when the tides out it's fine but walk back to the high water line and the rotting seaweed and flies and you feel it shouldn't be like that.

Would I go back - absolutely, the park and the caravan were great, we had one episode where some drunken fools had a massive row on the road at 3:40am (one thoughtfully stood outside our van shouting and screaming), Parkdean security were on the scene quickly and dispersed the problem, we never saw them again so either they went home early or were thrown out - either was OK with us and it wasn't Parkdeans fault it happened, it was the drunken idiots - if you can't hold your drink then don't drink.

Parkdean security were noticed several times patrolling so full marks to them for making you feel comfortable and secure.

All in all we had a fantastic time, the caravan site was close enough to Torquay, Plymouth etc to make day trips simple, we enjoyed Burgh Island beach for it's outstanding sandy beaches and rockpools and just had a great time.

Many thanks to Parkdean for looking after us so well and making us feel looked after - if your thinking of going here then use Parkdean and not the "other" operator who I heard stories about myself whilst there (not good ones).

Saturday 12 September 2009

The Sun'll come out .... tomorrow .....


Psst - Ignore the date on the photo, the camera decided to go a bit nutty and put the wrong date on.

We'll were now on Wednesday and I'm trying to unsuccessfully ring the local TV station - they said the sun would come out at 10am but it actually came out at 9am ... Bastards !!!

Today the tail end of hurricane something or other has blown over (it dumped the last of the rain in the night), and we have several days of sunshine predicted.

We enjoyed breakfast recalling the loony in a Citroen C2 who was so impatient with the car in front of him on the A3121 (as we came back from DZP) that he tried to overtake (with a large car coming towards him) but decided this was far too normal way to die so decided to overtake on a blind right hand bend.
Now most people in that frame of mind forget the laws of vectors and addition of speed, if they are doing 60mph on a blind bend (let's call them car A - A for "Arse") and they meet another car doing 60mph (Let's call them car B - B for "Bloody hell there's a C2 coming head on for us") the general laws of physics dictate that should Car A and Car B meet then the occupants of anything French (and therefore shit) will be dead.

I rest my case with the immortal Citroen AX which I believe was declared the most dangerous car to have an accident in, apparently it can sever your legs or lower body parts along with other nasty things - Ironically it was always the AX that was the preferred chariot of choice for the boy racers.

Unfortunately he escaped without incident but it's only a matter of time before his 1.4 French made food mixer decides it's had enough and parks itself on the front of the local bus.
Obviously with this in mind DZP get an unexpected "meat" bonus - I can imagine the kids now "What's he eating Dad ?", Looks like a Citroen C2 Steering wheel son".

Anyway, I digress, breakfast goes without a hitch and through the rain soaked curtains we see what appears to be a strange colour - without the Internet working properly on the site (apparently it wants to install a program but my linux laptop told it to feck off) we resort to comparing the colour of the sky with a set of cheap Tesco felt pens.
"Hmmmm, nope it's not Black"

"No, it's not Red, yellow, green ..."

We settle, with disbelief on the colour "blue" - or for the sake of the C2 driver, the colour of your car before you splatter it with your own blood.

It seems Summer has indeed arrived at Challaborough.

We venture down to Challaborough beach first, now how can I describe it in words not likely to cause WW III or outcrys from the local drivers ?

I think it fair to say the orientation of Challaborough beach negatively attracts the emissions from the Atlantic swell during, before and after any storms or weather systems and allows deposition over the surface area of the beach within the upper tidal catchment area.

In laymans terms it's covered in seaweed and rubbish from the sea along the high tide mark.
Fortunately the rubbish was actually quite bearable as it had been out numbered by thousands of flies.
Despite the nice pictures and despite the fact that when the tide goes out it's not too bad the top of the beach needed a bit of TLC by someone, it wouldn't hurt to take a tractor out and scoop this shit up - sitting on a beach smelling the rotting seaweed and looking at somone's cast off rubbish is not my idea of a holiday - Nil Poits from the French Judge on this one and I lay the blame for this firmly on the local council, other beaches can send a tractor down early to clear up the high tide line and even smooth out the sand but not here it appears.

After our inspection of the local dump we decide to walk over the cliff path to Burgh Island, the walk is not too bad (about 30 degree incline for about 200 feet), the view gets better as you go up and the sight and smell of the seaweed gets less.

Coming over the top your greeted with the remarkable sight of Burgh Island, in all we spent 3 days doing nothing but sitting on this beach and enjoying the fantastic clean environment.

Fortunately all the rubbish seems to wash up at Challaborough leaving Burgh Island a fantastic place to hang out.
The sand is fine and clean, the beach almost flat so you can wade out a hundred metres and still be touching the bottom, the water is so clean you can see your feet.

Now I have to say though that the "SHDC" - South Hams District Council should get their act together, they charge £6 a day for parking and trust me the car park does a healthy bit of trade, if you put signs up saying "No Dogs Allowed" then I expect no fecking dogs.

To walk out the sea (with your child near you) and see a nice pile of dog shit is not nice, the signs offer a nice fine of £500 if you don't clear it up and the stuck up idiots who think they are too good to lower themselves to do this should be made an example of.

Now I've had dogs for 42 years in my life so before anyone clicks the "comment" button and before I click the "delete" button I've done more than my fair share of scooping dog shit and keeping them off beaches.
To visit such a superb beach and see (thankfully not many) piles of dog crap leaves a damper on the day, we even went to the "No Dogs" beach which is clearly marked and clearly signposted to find it had more dogs on it than the one they are really allowed on.

Come on SHDC, get someone down there handing out £500 fines and make their day, I certainly don't enjoy making sandcastles that are more sticky and prone to attracting flies than the next ones and once word gets around then the one or two mindless idiots who ruin it for the masses of responsible owners will sort themselves out.

Most of the owners cleaned up straight away and it was great - no problems at all so despite the slight issue and the long rant the beach still gets the thumbs up, and yes it's nice to have a friendly dog wander up and play for a bit or swim past you, some people just need to be a bit more considerate and appreciate this is an area designated natural beauty, nothing spoils it more than a photo with a dog turd on it !

Final Score - Challaborough 2, Burgh Island 9.

Should SHDC send a tractor to Challaborough to keep it tip top when needed and appoint a warden to Burgh Island then the scores would be 8 and 10 - Challaborough has all the makings of a great beach but not when it's covered in rubbish.

Dost Thou See a Tiger ?



Today was forecast rain for a change, although the weather report added fog, mist, low cloud, snow and plagues of locusts and other things to the fun. Actually only joking about the snow.

This meant today was the trip to the Dartmoor Zoological Park or DZP as they like to call it - we've not been before but it used to be Dartmoor big cat sanctuary and our daughter is mad on Tigers.
Now pop this into Sat nav and it decides to take you via Jupiter and Uranus before dropping you into a black hole.
Just set Navigation to Sparkwell and with any luck you will pick up the signs for the park well before the Sat nav takes you down a road the size of your own bowels. From Challaborough its about 12 miles to the park - Follow the A379 and take the A3121 cut through to the A38 (Signpost Exeter A38), this keeps you on roads you have a reasonable chance of survival on rather than ones with a certain death sign.

Now I have to say the entrance didn't inspire us much, it consisted of a car park with three cars in it, some chaps in diggers doing lots of work and a lonely chap taking your money.
Added to that the mist and rain and I felt like I'd been mugged in a polite but crappy way but read on as the weather improves, who knows my mood might as well ?

You wander up a hill to the main park itself, on the right (no animals - bear in mind its hammering down with rain), on the left (wet animals) but the cafe beckons.
Quick cup of really nice coffee (£1.60 for a mug) and we start off, and I have to be honest we were not impressed initially, couldn't see any bears in the bear compound (obviously keeping out of the rain), the Racoons were no where to be seen (probably in Kingsbridge rummaging in the bins) and the rain (and mist) was not helping our general mood - my photo's look like I've used a fog filter for an added effect rather than try and focus on an animal 25 feet away in the mist.

Now everyone has had those moments in their life (Birthdays and Christmas) where they have decided they want an Xbox 360, out comes the large wrapped present (which is exactly the right size and weight), you carefully open the wrapping lest you disturb the prestine outer skeleton that is the Xbox packaging itself - you then find some bastard has got you a toaster.

However ... quite often after a short family row (which often includes destroying the said toaster in a fit of temper and pointing out to the family the 150 pictures you stuck to the walls and the fact you changed your name to "Xbox" as subtle hints you wanted one), there suddenly emerges another box - which you immediately assume is another fecking toaster.

You open the wrapping quickly on this (not realising someone has sellotaped the paper to the box so you tear the box covering itself) and find yourself the owner of the item you coveted with such enthusiasm (although it's dampened by the now less than perfect box but you make a mental note to buy the wife a new Iron for her Birthday).

This was the feeling we had when we turned the (damp and misty) corner and found the Wolves and Tigers - despite the mist and rain you were faced with incredible animals and views.
We've been to our share of Zoo's and Wildlife Parks and normally Wolves and Tigers are fast asleep 500 yards from the safety fences, not in this case - your behind a safety barrier but you could literally reach out and touch the animals (obviously leaving your arm as payment).



There's one Amur Tiger near the Wolves (which is the aunt of three more on the park), the Lions and Tigers are in nice compounds, good sizes, plenty of water and places to climb etc (we don't like the steel cages do we ?) and they actually move.
Next to the Tiger is the Cheetah compound, and again it was actually walking around and doing something (hopefully stalking several rabbits - I've never seen so many until we went on this holiday).

Visit the otters and just call out to them for some amusing antics as they rush up and start squeaking to you.
The guide came and fed the Otters at 12pm (who had a pack of Prawns today) - make sure you note down the feeding times from the board beside the cafe.

Just around the corner Soverign the Jaguar who very kindly came out the mist and sat on his rock allowing some fantastic pictures (apologies for the pic being a little dark, it was misty so I adjusted the brightness to reduce it a little).



On the way back to the cafe there's a large paddock you can go in (make sure by the way to take decent boots as it can get muddy and wet), in there are two crazy Mcaws who will call to you from miles away - ducks, small deer and pigmy goats.

A quick home made burger, fries, coleslaw and salad (very good for £6.25 - I had trouble eating it all), or have a simpler snack of chips and cheese ! Couple more cups of their excellent coffee and then off we go again to try and spot some bears (who appear to be still sleeping), back to the otters as we need to get to the Jaguar for 2pm)

We met the guide again for the Jaguar feeding who appeared quite happy to have some Horse then off to the close encounter session where you can hold land snails, stick insects, coackroaches, snakes etc.

I have to be honest, when we got as far as the bears and Racoons initially (and bear in mind it was raining and the diggers working on the entrance etc) we thought the trip was going to be terrible.

In reality this turned out to be one of the best zoo trips we have ever had, ignore the work going on at the entrance, the entrance fee is perfectly reasonable and spend plenty of time standing 5 feet from some major animals enjoying exactly what the park is all about.
The staff (and I mean all the staff) are friendly and very helpful, they couldn't do enough for you and you didn't feel you were in the sterile environment of some zoo's, the young French lady (sorry didn't get your name) who fed the Otters and gave the talks obviously loves her job and enjoys talking to anyone else who loves animals, we had roaches and stick insects crawling around and added to the great food and very reasonable gift shop (I got 4 gifts for £6.30 which would have expected to cost £20 at our local zoo).

If your heading down Torquay, Plymouth or around this area then book yourself a day to visit - we arrived at 10am and spent the entire day - you will be surprised how quickly the time goes as your watching the Tigers and large cats as they come so close to you.
It's more enjoyable as they are in good size enclosures with large pools, plenty of thick grass and places to climb so you can see they animals are happy and contented - in this day and age nothing should be in a cage but if they are in a zoo they need plenty of space, the enclosures are designed so in most cases there is a good clear view so you can get some great photos, the zoo also do photographer days where you can be taken around by your own guide and given unique access to the enclosures etc.

Would we go back again - without doubt, we enjoyed Paignton zoo last year (make sure you go there as well), didn't get time to go to the National Aquarium (but DZP do joint tickets by the way offering discount) but this park left us buzzing.
When you have someone who is mad on large cats anyway you can't help but be impessed when your so close and they are playing, growling and generally eying you up for their lunch - probably our favourite zoo of all time.

Delayed post - bit like the Royal Mail !!!

The wireless on the caravan site didn't like Linux (it wanted to install some software which I think upset it when the pop up was told in no uncertain terms to Feck off).

With that in mind I resigned myself to a week without internet and decided to go cold turkey - the first few hours were hell but after that I started to notice subtle things such as colours, smells and my eyes managed to focus more than 2.5 feet in front of me.
It seemed there was a whole new world out there - the question was would I like it ?

Today we decided on a trip to dullsbridge.

You soon realize when a small town has more charity shops than people and more cafes than parking spaces that you've perhaps over paid your car parking time.

Yes we're in Kingsbridge - we passed through it on our way to Challaborough and thought it looked OK for a bit of a ramble and shopping but we soon found it consists of one main road with about 40% charity shops.
So a quick U turn and we're on the A379 to Plymouth.

If your going look for Drakes Circus (the Entrance is on Charles Street), this is a modern shopping center with exits onto the main shopping areas. Lots of parking (not bad prices) and your right in the thick of things so no complaints there and hardly a charity shop to be seen.

You can see the top of Smeatons light house if you get the right angle so your not far from the Hoe (crap nav says about 0.5 miles but will more likely be about 15 once sat nav works out some crappy tiny Devon roads).

Anyway, a bit of shopping (Plymouth center has at least Two Thorntons and Three Game shops so it's sorted), and we head down to the old harbor area (Barbican) for some lunch - Unfortunately a distinct lack of computer shops or Xbox vendors, in fact far too much of a Nautical theme for my liking.
Lots of places to eat and unlike some of the places we've been, no smell of shit so it's quite pleasant to sit and eat your fish and chips without the waft of eastury mud.

Watch for the seagulls though, they know you have food so one tried to land into our dinner !

As towns go Plymouth is a little strange, its long and thing rather than centered around a main icon, Nottingham for example grows out from the Market Square, Leicester from the Clock tower, Plymouth has to fit into whatever land is there although in some ways it's better as you walk out down one side of the shops and back up the other rather than two large circles through the tramp infested back streets of the latter.
It was clean, cheerful and no problems at all wandering around it which was in stark contrast to Frankfurt where I was accompanied through my visit by the invisible shit monster who attacked my nose at every opportunity and the high number of tramps, drunks and beggars on the street - Plymouth gets my vote against Frankfurt any day and on the plus side no Ryan Air checkin desks !

A quick trip to Morrisons for some supplies (Just off the A379) and we're done - all in all a far better trip to Plymouth than the "other direction", Apologies to Thorntons for not managing to visit all the stores, we'll try harder next time.

Tomorrow - It's Tigggaaaarrrsss

Tuesday 8 September 2009

Gateway to Hell


Now that we've made friends and seen the sea we're probably regarded as locals.

It appears that to be a local you perform the following.

a) Drive down any road not less than 50mph
b) Stop "just" before hitting any on coming traffic
c) Squeeze your car through a gap smaller than the popularity vote for
the Scottish Parliament after freeing the Iranian Terrorist.
d) Wave politely at the idiot who nearly wiped you off the face of the
earth or wave politely back at the idiot who should have seen you coming.

I've started to get the hang of this lark so I find the nearest BMW,
Mercedes or R - Registration Peugot and hang on their tail in the hope
that they will sacrifice their airbags and front body work to keep the
road clear for me.

The Trick with Challaborough is simple,

1) Turn your Sat Nav on
2) Open your car window
3) Throw it out and shout "Fecking celebrity voices - Navigate that"
4) Use your Primeval instincts to guide you

Go out of Challaborough, into the local village (Ringmore) and straight though,
follow your nose to St. Ann's Chapel and you come out onto the A379, this carries a far
lower risk of death even lower than some cafe's and restaurants I've
been in.
Although this adds a mile or two to any route you take the fact you
emerge onto the main roads with your front bumper, headlights, paintwork
intact and even better that your pants are not full of your own shit as
you violently scream and attempt to prevent a head on collisions.

With this in mind it's only the last 1 mile thats more risky than being
a member of the Klu Klux Klan at a Deep South Wedding, I've decided to
park my car in some womans drive and walk the final mile to Challaborough - if she can
find me then I'll move the fecking car.

Ringmore itself is literally wide enough for one car only so be careful going through there, the roads are then not bad until you get that final mile for Challaborough, we followed some local idiot in a white micra who (I kid you not) did 60mph down these roads and bearing in mind you cannot see around any corners is nothing short of plain stupid - I'll keep an eye out for his obiturary.

Today saw the annual trip to Torquay, so a quick negotiation of the
twiddly roads, stop and change my pants on the A379 and we're off to
Totnes - Or as I have now named it "Gateway to Hell".
Now before my mail box bulges with Local Devon women sending topless
shots of themselves and the local male population threatening to kill me for ridiculing their roads let me explain.

Having seen the way the locals drive It appears they all head for Totnes.
All the loonies who tailgated, overtook at high speed or generally drove like madmen seemed to dissapear there so I assume the
Devil himself rides the traffic lights here.

We headed off and in fact arrived at Torquay without too many problems, parked up and visited the local purveyor of fine coffee and snacks,
that's right we went to Subway.
To be honest it was a decent coffee and suitably refreshed went to the Living coast.

A pit stop later and we had a Mexican "all you can eat" buffet, I did attempt "all I could eat" but they managed to reduce my "additional" steak to ashes so a few bad marks there.

Personally I like Torquay, they have cleaned it up considerably in the last few years so it's clean, bright and everything looks good - Add to that the parking is not too bad and its all OK in my book.

A quick stop off at Paignton and were sorted for the day.

The good news is that the site here has Wireless access, the bad news it appears to be a piece of copper stretched to the nearby island - it locks on for 10-20 seconds then goes to wireless heaven and stops working for 10 minutes (I found out later in the week it wants to install an applet in Windows but seeing as I use Ubuntu Linux it's tough shit little Applet, no way are you running on this PC !).

It doesn't help much in the middle of bingo if someones shouting "Fecking wireless shit" ..... "Is that a house at the back ?" .... "errr no it's OK".

Sunday 6 September 2009

The Road to Death

Well as trips go it started well, a sleepless night the evening before - caused mainly by my considerable farts.

It didn't help that Beth shot up in the middle of the night, shouted "Dad's on the airbed 1... 2... 3" then went back to sleep.
Barbara decided to sleep downstairs but found out the Parrot snores.

So after about 2 hours sleep we cram the remaining laptops and computer gear in the car with one or two items of clothing and set off for the trip .....
3 mins later we arrive .... at Tesco, quick tyre check and some fuel and we're on the push.

Blue skies and sunshine were the order of the day as we pass the roadworks, Birmingham and even Bristol.
Reaching "Welcome to Devon" it then rained.

We decided not to hit Torquay but have a drive around the coast so we headed for Slapton sands, Dartmouth and around those bits - After freezing at Slapton sands and telling all the war vetereans that £1.80 to park was not the reason they fought in France and Germany we set off for the sunny costa del Challaborough.

Now when your in normal civilisation the Sat nav chooses, Motorways, then A roads etc, when your in Devon it regards all roads as equal.
Not knowing the perils or fate that awaited we eagerly followed the "300 yards and turn right then turn left then left , left again then right" etc.
Leaving Slapton we appeared to be going up someones garden drive but the absence of sheds and garden gnomes plus several on coming high speed Land Rovers led me to believe we were indeed on a road.

A few quick emergency stops and some amazing squeezing of two vehicles through gaps smaller than Viet Cong tunnels and we headed a little further towards our goal.
With just a mile or two to go the Sat Nav declared "Turn Left" - now most people's perception of "turning" and "left" are their vehicle turns into an opening large enough to allow the vehicle to pass without removing the paint from the body of the vehicle or the shite from the bowels of the driver.
Regardless of any expectation the Sat nav insisted on a left turn - now most people including myself may not have noticed the "tidal road" sign but anyway that was the least of our worries.

I turned onto what I strongly believed was a boat slipway, i.e it was small, angled steeply, made of concrete and covered in mud and shit.

We followed a few other helpless deciples to the Lord Sat Nav and proceeded down what I would still describe as a boating lane.
The signs then gave a clue, "Road may flood at high tide" - Hmmm the boat moored on the road seemed to back this up and the smell of Estuary shit.
Fortunately the tide was out (or not quite in) so we picked our way along this 6ft wide road of death, the large wooden markers hammered into the ground gave some clue as to the fun you must have at high tide playing "is this the road?".

We then met the local Royal Mail driver, I knew he was Royal Mail when he swerved violently to avoid hitting the car in front of me but not violently enough to stop himself from chatting on his mobile phone.
Obviously being a stranger to the region i thought it wise to make new friends to I'm sure he appreciated the "Get off the F%^king phone you stupid W%"£er" as I went past.
It's nice sometimes to reach out and touch someone.

We then negotiated what I will call "The hill of death", this was a hill with more bends than a team of crap divers and steeper than the service charges at Gordon Ramseys restaurants.
There should be a wooden hut at the top giving out "You made it alive" badges and giving everyone a free car sticker.
I've never:

a) Driven up such a winding and nerve racking road
b) Met such large vehicles coming the other way
c) Crapped myself so much

We then proceed to go down roads which are narrower than the path between our house and our neighbours, finally we find the sign (well when I say sign it's a large mirror mounted on the side of the road, kept in place by pieces vehicle debris.


We then proceed down a slightly larger road until reaching the final destination which involves going through a village that is only "just" wide enough for one car, then down a road with less passing places than a dodgy funeral parlour.

Finally we arrive at Challaborough - gateway to Burgh Island.....


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