Beans on toast.
The main problem is the vast combinations that you can do with this simple dish, I'm sure Stephen Hawkins would discover black holes quicker if he could brush his maths up on this.
For example, the choice of beans, do you have plain and simple "value" beans, Cross & Blackwell or Heinz (if your nice and rich) or do you have BBQ beans ?
The choice of toast is just as important, I like a 1/2 inch thick (or more) slice of fresh crusty bloomer or tin, buttered whilst still hot (no margarine thank you) and then on with the beans.
Some prefer sliced bread, thin, medium or thick, then there's toaster sliced bread (quite a bit thicker) and super thick.
If that's not enough to confuse you then you've still got the choice of wholemeal, wholegrain, granary or custom breads like sunflower or poppy.
After a few hours making your choice then the other question is do you put cheese on it ? If so, do you put the cheese on the toast first then the beans or the beans then the cheese? These things are important and anyone reading this and thinking otherwise could get themselves in a sticky situation if this is discussed without having a trusted and valued opinion.
If you put the cheese on the top, do you grill it to get it bubbling or let it melt ?
Speaking of bubbling, there are devotees to the pan and others to the microwave, do you heat your beans in a saucepan or the microwave ?
Some refuse to discuss and will only use the saucepan, I've known someone who always uses the same oven ring, sets it to "just the right" heat and by the time his toast is cooked his beans are just right, not too hot to mush up and not burnt.
Another favorite is an egg on the beans, again your choice is not simply an egg but do you want a fried egg, poached or even scrambled ?
I've not known anyone have an egg AND cheese, it seems to be one or the other so again the permutations come alive and yield numerous outcomes of choices, Cheddar, Edam, Leicester, Derby or something exotic ? Harlech (with horseradish) or blue cheese?
Even then when it's all on the table ready to be eaten, do you put salt on it, white or black pepper ?
I've tried many combinations and it has to be white pepper with a touch of salt, crusty white or granary bread (a nice granary batch is perfect, crispy on the outside but soft inside), good salted butter and ironically the choice of beans doesn't seem to matter to me that much, I've tried them all and it's either Heinz or if I want a bit more sauce then I go for my value beans so my toast is slopping in plenty of sauce.
Next time your peckish and fancy some, don't just get the tin and slop it on some sliced bread, give beans on toast the time and energy it deserves, try it on ciabatta, multi seeded or a nice touch is Morrisons Onion loaf (99p last time I got one).
I'm sure that given the vast permuations and combinations that this should be a 2012 Olympic sport - I've seen people poach eggs with military precision when making beans on toast so nothing is over cooked - dedication above and beyond.
I got to say, mine were champion, tomorrow the sliding doors go on and who knows I might celebrate with an elaborate egg on my beans !
