Many years ago when I used to travel around and fix computers (normally in the happy days before Windows) there was a town which was a bit tricky to drive through and had some blooming fiddly roads and messing about.
Someone then had a bright idea to sort a lot of problems in one go by carving a dual carriageway through it and making a new ring road as well, effectively forming a link from the M1 in Nottingham to the M6 and shaving a good hour off transit times through several villages etc etc blah blah.
So tonight I leave and drive down towards this town only to find one of the main reasons it really really really fucks me off more than any town I can think of.
Before you click the back button and start writing to the local clergy to have me exorcised for demons I will explain further.
Imagine for a moment the only way from the M1 to the M6 was either going right down to the M6 (at Junction 19), or if your a little further up, taking the M69 from Leicester (either way is fine depending on your point of origin and both motorway routes take you straight from the M1 onto the M6 with no problems at all). The other way is to go right up the M1 until you get to the M62, quite a busy junction and you then cross the Pennines which more than makes up for it on the scenic journey.
Now if your not a fan of country routes these were your options, if you want to go straight over then you were stuck with a tricky crossing through several towns depending on your route and I've known the journey to take 2 or 2.5 hours for the 30 odd miles it takes.
So now your up to speed and you've forgotten the naughty swear words above your perhaps wondering "What's crap?" - the answer is yet to come.
The route over the Pennines is not an easy or comfortable one if your finding this your only option so the A50 was built in its entirety and I quite often trampled muddy fields to service the computers of the engineers who built it.
I'm not even upset that they built the Dual carriageway from the worst material known to man i.e Concrete, if you could only imagine the horrors of the noise you get while driving on it and even worse the noise that any local residents must hear when cars are screaming down it - it really is amazingly bad.
The real issue is not even the A50 through to the final town itself, nope thats fine, it links onto the A500 which takes you either North or South to the M6 so thats fine, what then is my gripe?
It's simple and like all things it's the simple things that matter.
The conundrum is answered when you ask yourself, given that two motorways link by Dual carriageway and are therefore very very busy, and given that the final town is also busy anyway what one thing would you do that would seriously fuck up the road system ?
Amazingly the answer is so simple it's probably bypassed you, now tonight it took me an hour to drive no more than 4 miles through the Ring road of this town, the ring road should be moving at 50mph and normally it is, so to completely fuck this towns road system up some complete and utter twat has built a football stadium right next to the main junction between the A50 and A500.
The words Fucking Wanker don't seem to do my rant justice, I would dearly love him to come to this town and sit in the fucking traffic with the smell of burning clutch pedals around him, cars fighting to get into lanes and the whole road system completely fucked up.
Why am I not surprised ? Well this town used to make pottery, and obviously toilets are included in this list so to who ever put the football stadium next to Stoke On Trent's main roads your a shit and deserve to burn in the hell you made for yourself - I swear that no hell is worse than the one you made for everyone who was just going about their business and had to endure this on a regular basis.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest you and may your spirit never know peace but sit in a ghostly car for ever trapped in the fucking nightmare you created.
What a bastard !
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